For people in recovery, thinking about using alcohol or drugs, or actually returning to their use is the ultimate in self-sabotage and self-defeating behavior.
I mean, talk about shooting yourself in the foot, what good could possibly come out of a return to the use of drugs and alcohol? As we go through this module I cannot imagine anybody in recovery not having several ‘Aha moments’ or ‘light bulbs going off over your head’. OK, let’s get to it.
A pretty good working definition of self sabotaging behavior is this:
“Self sabotaging thoughts, behaviors, and feelings create a block in the road to success even when there is no rational or logical explanation as to why you cannot achieve your goals.”
An interesting thing about self sabotage is that it is not a lack of knowledge, effort or even desire that keeps you from achieving your goals and out comes.
But rather, it is the committee in our head, or our own inner self-dialogue that confuses the issue.
Let’s take a look at some of the characteristics in attitudes of self sabotaging behavior. Daniel G. Amen, in his book, Don’t Shoot Yourself In The Foot came up with the following characteristics and contrasts.
| Sabotaging Behavior | Successful Behavior |
| Lack of Personal Responsibility | Taking Personal Responsibility |
| Lack of Awareness | Taking Initiative To Be Informed |
| Poor Communication Skills | Positive Communications With Others |
| Negativity | Setting And Working Toward Goals |
| Poor Choice Making | Making Good Living choices |
If I took that table above, and labeled the left side ‘engaging in addictive use’, and the right side in ‘engaging in recovery’, it would fit like a glove. The deeper I get into this, the more realize that engaging in your addiction is the ultimate in self-destructive behavior.
So, self-sabotage can lead you to, and position you in the middle of, “relapse mode”. For us, that is the ultimate danger. Self-defeating behavior can make you frustrated, bring up that feeling of being trapped again, and be very discouraging. Don’t get me wrong, everybody makes a poor decision or does not get the results they want all the time. But this idea of self sabotaging and self-defeating behavior is really problematic when it becomes insidious and a pattern rather than an exception.
What Do Researchers Say?
Great question, I’m glad you asked. I think it is important for you to know that material presented did not just come off the top of my head, there is foundation for it. [click to continue…]
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