What is a dry drunk, and the ‘dry drunk syndrome’ as it is sometimes called?
It can best be described as someone who fits one of two conditions. The first is someone who has given up drinking and drugging and not made any internal or emotional changes, they stay the same but the substance is gone. Or in the second case what was once someone abstinent and on a progressive path of recovery has slowly returned to chaotic and unrealistic thinking.
Being active in your addiction sets up many trains of thought, attitudes, feelings, and actions that are problematic. Simply removing the alcohol or drugs without changing these underlying factors will produce a dry drunk syndrome. The dry drunk really refers to a condition and not the person. It is important to recognize a reversion back to our old ways of thinking and acting, or lack of progress in moving forward in recovery.
The dry drunk can be a precursor to the beginnings of relapse, the AA Big Book describes this condition as being "restless, irritable, and discontented". This set of attitudes can apply to anyone who is chemically dependent, or even those were not. Here are some of the attitudes common with the dry drunk syndrome.
Grandiosity - Grandiosity basically means a return to a self-centered, ‘the world revolves around’ me attitude. In 12 Step literatures this is the concept of being "self-centered in the extreme”. It does not have to necessarily mean that I believe I am the best; it can also be seeking attention through playing the victim or sitting on the pity pot.
Impulsivity – A common attitude or observable behavior of people with addiction problems is poor impulse control. We tend to do what we want when we want, with little regard for self harm or hurting others around us. Impulsivity can be linked with grandiosity to engage in behaviors designed to make us the center of attention.
Being judgmental – This is a very destructive attitude for people in recovery. When we judge a person as being better than or less than, we are setting up a situation where we inflate our egos feeling better than other people. On the other hand if we judge ourselves to be on the short end we can feel bitter and generate low self-esteem. Being judgmental is a low self-esteem generator.
Complacency - This is not only an attitude of somebody in dry drunk syndrome, but is a red flag warning sign of someone who is well into the relapse process. An important facet of being in active recovery is just that, being active, and moving forward. It is not how fast you are going but rather the direction in which you are headed. If you become lazy or disinterested and stop being proactive about your recovery, the natural to a tendency is to fall back into addictive behaviors. Your re-engagement in them is just a short step away.
Once you are lured into any of these attitudes, they start to affect how you think. Once your thinking is affected and you start to buy into self-centered thoughts, chances are you'll engage in the actions stemming from these self-centered thoughts.
Here are some destructive patterns and actions that can result from dry drunk thinking:
1. We become restless and irritable and discontent.
2. We become bored, dissatisfied, and easily distracted from productive tasks.
3. Our emotions and feelings get listless and dull, nothing excites us anymore.
4. We start to the engage in the euphoric recall that is yearning for the good old days of active using and for getting the pain and shame of use.
5. We start to engage in magical thinking we get on realistic and fanciful expectations and dreams.
6. The last thing we want you is engaged in introspection to improve ourselves.
7. We start to become unfulfilled and have the feeling that nothing will ever satisfy our yearning or fill the hole in the sole.
Looking back at the list of attitudes and thought distortions listed above, it is easy to see how the dry drunk syndrome is simply nothing more then reverting back to the way it was when we were active in our use. If you are starting to notice some of the attitudes discussed creeping back into your life, is target time to start paying attention to the possibility of relapse and start turning your life in sobriety and recovery around. The dry drunk syndrome is a bright red flashing warning sign for relapse.
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10 responses so far ↓
1 therapydoc // Jun 7, 2007 at
Thanks for a great post. This will be posted at the Carnival of All Substances on June 10. Stop by and visit us, say hello.
2 D. A. // Mar 31, 2008 at
This strikes home on all points as our family is enabling
one of our own to continue his downward spiral without
seeking advise.
the point of no return is near and as a recovering alcoholic
that has been exposed to thousands of other alcoholics
in aa my non alcoholic parents and my using brother are
just adding to the problem .
3 Xiflada // Apr 29, 2008 at
I never knew what this term meant. I underts and now why some people act that way. It's as if maybe they might miss whatever it is they were addicted to and are now depressed. Of course having people that just don't understand you can add to this.
4 john // Jun 30, 2008 at
I never use the term,"dry drunk" in a disparaging way. My hat's off to anyone who stays away from a drink or drug; whether it's meetings, a judge's gavel or the wife's rolling pin that provides the impetus. The term is used mostly by the faithful meeting makers, who believe AA is the only way.
Statistics show as many people "mature out" of addiction as do in AA.
johns last blog post..peace
5 Michael Syngkon // Jul 7, 2008 at
Dear Bill,
'Addiction Recovery Basics' has been a wonderful guide and reading. It reminds me that I need to do more than what I am doing to maintain my recovery. I just love reading your different articles.
Is there a way you can email me something on 'King Baby Syndrome'?
It's been 10 years since I had my last drink.
Reagrds and God Bless your work.
Michael Syngkon
6 tongyun // Jul 8, 2008 at
Like many of the others who have posted, I have never heard of this term before. I find it extremely enlightening to know what to look for in friends who are recovery but may be headed in the wrong direction. This gives me some things to watch out for before it is too late.
7 JT // Jul 31, 2008 at
I am living with the father of a newly 42 year old diagnosed King/Baby alcoholic son. I cannot get through to him that he is an enabler to his son by financially supporting him. How can I be a support in this situation.
8 Bill Urell // Jul 31, 2008 at
Jt,
A real good source of support is Al-Anon. It is a support group for the families of alcoholics.
Bill
9 Billy P. // Aug 6, 2008 at
The grammar in this article is atrocious. The "editor" should be ashamed.
10 Bill Urell // Aug 7, 2008 at
I guess that judgementalism part didn't apply.
Shame is a belief that at the core, one is inadequate, 'I am a bad thing'. I really don't feel that way about myself over a grammatical error(s) in an article.
I choose to believe I may be providing a worthwhile service, and see no reason to be "ashamed" of my efforts.
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