Addiction Recovery Basics

Addictive relationships come about because of a basic human need, to love and be loved. Unfortunately, relationships can be addictive in the sense that some people try to fill the ‘hole in the soul’ with another person. This is much the same as an addict looking for fulfillment through alcohol and drugs, or an overachiever collecting wealth, it is never enough.

Here are some signs of relationship addiction:

1. An addictive relationship is not a 50/50 relationship, someone is the taker and someone the giver, it is not balanced.

2. The relationship is the center of your world with all else being a very distant second. It has an obsessive quality to it.

3. You know that the relationship is bad for you and you have loved ones and friends telling you this but something always gets in the way of ending it.

4. The addictive relationship thrives in chaos. You can almost become ‘addicted’ to the swirling negative energy as you react to each other. Boredom sets in when things are going well.

5. You have decided to stay in the dysfunctional relationship and stick it out hoping for a change. The problem is that there are no reasons for the relationship to change. Nothing changes, nothing changes.

6. When you consider ending the addictive relationship, you get stress and anxiety increases to the point of fear of change. This makes you hold on to what you have. “Any relationship is better than none at all.”

7. When you do take the fundamental steps to totally end the relationship, you experience withdrawal symptoms such as feeling lost or incomplete, maybe evens physical discomfort. Then the only remedy that comes to mind is to get back together with the person. It then starts all over again

If these apply to you, you are most likely in an dysfunctional, addictive relationship. Ask yourself, ‘Can I still direct my own life?’ If not, then you must take the first steps in fixing your relationship with yourself which is clearly affected by your relationship with a particular person.

Before moving toward recovery, you must first recognize that you are hooked in an addictive relationship. You should also do your best to understand what the basis of your addiction is. In doing so, you may get the perspective you need in order to remedy the problem.

 

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