Addiction Recovery Basics

This is the Step 3 video in our series on 12 step program videos.

3. "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him."

I got the feeling from watching this third step video, that this step was the narrator's favorite. A little bit of fire and brimstone, coming at you, no? In any event, this is a step that can be a stumbling block for many because of the introduction of God.

When I first started the AA program and laid eyes on the 12 steps for the first time, I remember thinking "I am so screwed ". I did not believe in God, was not religious and all, and had absolutely no spirituality. I was also mentally, spiritually, and emotionally vacant. Maybe. being that low in my life was the thing that eventually allowed me to accept Step 3. One thing I knew for certain was that I was not doing such a good job of things.

I certainly identified with the concept of " All you need to know about God is that you're not it". I wanted to believe in God, but was coming at from the point of view of "prove it then I'll believe it". Needless to say, I did not get anywhere. Eventually, after months of repeating the steps 1,2, and 3 over and over again, and not making a lot of progress, my sponsor took pity on me Here is the way it worked for me.

He asked me if I believed that if there was anything in the universe that was bigger than me. He said don't put a name to it or face on it, can you just say is there anything bigger than you, yes or no. I was so confused it took me awhile to ponder this. I eventually agreed that somewhere in this big universe there's something bigger than me.

I was then asked if I wanted this thing that was bigger than me to be good or bad, kind and loving, or angry and vengeful. I said I preferred kind and loving. My sponsor said just for the sake of conversation, we'll call this kind and loving thing that is bigger than you, your Higher Power. Now, do you think your Higher Power would appreciate you running and gunning, and using drugs and alcohol like you have in the past? I said, no probably not. My sponsor then said you're not using drugs and alcohol now are you? I said no ( he was winding up for the finale).

My sponsor said let's recap: you believe in something bigger than you so you do have a Higher Power, he's kind and loving, you're not sure what his plan is for you, but you know it is not using drugs and alcohol the way you did. Therefor by simply staying sober you're doing God's will for you.

This got me really mad, as of five minutes ago I did not believe in God. Now he had me believing in a God of my understanding, who was a good and kind, and I was running around doing His will without even knowing it.

Maybe I knew that all along.

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