Bad relationships, dysfunctional relatationships; ralationships are almost always damaged by substance abuse. If an addict wants to coninue to use substances, the last thing they want to hear is a loved one telling them to stop. This is why the deeper we move into addiction, the deeper we move into isolation.
Here is a well written article on bad relationships:
Are you Addicted to Bad Relationships? If you answered yes to one or all of those questions, you could very well be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships, setting yourself up for failure without even knowing it. There are ways you can determine whether you are addicted or not, and ways you can break the addiction and start getting what you have always wanted from a relationship. Before we cover the symptoms of addiction, it is important that we cover the dangers of staying in a bad relationship. Since bad relationships lack what one or both partners need, stress becomes a regular part of your life, as well a gradual lowering of your self-esteem, which will make you unable to focus on your career and personal life with the concentration and care needed, in order for you to be happy. The constant stress will produce chemical changes in your body that drain your energy and make you more eligible for physical illnesses. Physical abuse in a relationship is obvious to cause a lot of physical harm, along with great psychological damage, but in spite of these facts, many people still choose to proceed with such relationships, finding themselves trapped and incapable of leaving. They find themselves depressed, on a search for some relief and unfortunately becoming depressed and possibly turning to drugs and alcohol.
By Alina Ruigrok
Do you often find that you involve yourself in relationships that disappoint you? Are you not getting what you need and desire from the people you choose to date? Does there always seem to be something missing?
Ignoring the truth would be one. If you truly know that the relationship you are in is making you unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then you are in denial and are holding yourself hostage in a situation you do not have to be in. Making excuses for your partners disappointing and bad behavior will keep you trapped and is another huge symptom of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce do not back up the facts and are unrealistic. If you do finally build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in and holding on to what you know is bad for you. Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored.
What causes addiction to bad relationships?
There are several levels and everyones addiction is different and varies. One common reason is the feeling and belief that if you end the relationship, you will never find anyone else who could possibly be interested in you or love you. You grow so attached to your partner that you forgot your life before him or her, making you feel fearful of being on your own and taking care of yourself. Fear of criticism is another reason many people remain in bad relationships. They are afraid of what people will say, believing that ending a relationship means that they are a failure and being alone is unacceptable and terrifying. Other reasons may be financial support that you are receiving from a partner, making you feel that you should tolerate bad behavior from your lover, since they are supporting you. Having a child together can also blind you or cause you to deny a bad relationship, making you feel guilty for leaving your childs mother or father. On a deeper level, you could be addicted to disappointing and bad relationships due to your upbringing or experiences as a child yourself. Perhaps you were not nurtured or loved enough and you now think it is normal to be neglected from love, care and understanding.
What should you do and how can you break a bad relationship addiction?
Since this addiction is difficult and basically impossible for you to end on your own, counseling would be the best assistance for you. Find a counselor or service in which experts provide their services through, and take that first step in accepting the fact that you have an addiction and that you need and want help to conquer it. Start being a best friend to yourself and open the door to all the feelings you have kept locked up for so long. Stay focused and encourage yourself frequently by setting a goal, and picturing yourself away from all the disappointment and closer to all the happiness and good health you need, desire and deserve as a person. Never give up and know that you are not alone. There are people who can help you, know how to help and will help you. Mainly, keep in mind that there will always be a person who will be by your side and never leave you, always giving you the strength, love and support you need…and that person is YOU. 
Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions. About the Author Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need of dating, love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice through e-sessions.
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And by all means, if you are able to end the cycle of bad relationships, do yourself a favor and don’t allow yourself to get into any new relationships for a long period of time. You have to recover for quite awhile before you will be whole enough to enter back into a relationship.
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I applaud anyone who gets out of a bad relationship. I was never in a physically abusive relationship, but I was in a relationship that I just knew in my heart was toxic. It took a while for me to finally remove myself from the situation because it became so comfortable. It was tough at first, but after a while I was happy again and realized it was the best choice that I could have ever made. It is tough to do, but well worth it.
I longed to be in a relationship with a spiritually
healthy, Christian man. I began going to church with him and made many friends. The relationship became unhealthy so quickly and I had so many warnings, but stayed because I believed it was the Christian thing to do. I was wrong. God does not want us to suffer emotional abuse from anyone. I found I could go back to that church, hold my head high and I had nothing to be ashamed of. I was a beautiful, loving human being who deserved to be treated with respect, honor, and decency.
I am 31 and am still in the prosses of leaving the father of my 10 month old. He has a serious addiction to porn and checking out every girl in the world. He says he loves me and he is just a man and he can’t help himself. I think it’s a load of BS. I just wanted to say that I am having a hard time getting him to leave because he keeps giving me the guilt treatment, and I keep letting him. I am desperate to get him out of my life but sharing a child together complicates that aswell. I wish I had the courage to leave and to stop feeling guilty about our daughter, I meen I have raised her alone basically he never does anything .
It is very hard to break off from a relationship, especially with children involved. The abused partner refuses to leave, hoping and praying that everything will turn out fine in due time. But if and when the abused partner does leave, she will ask herself why didn’t she try to leave earlier? In my case, I left my wife 4 years ago after 30 years of marriage. It was like a breath of fresh air for both of us!
the article entitled “Are you Addicted to Bad Relationships?” is very helpful. it gives awareness and make people realize that they do not deserve these kind of harmful relationships.