An addictive relationship is no fun, though many, many, people are in dysfunctional relationships that are not in their best interests. Bad relationships lead to abuse, drug use, depression, and to people's lives being negatively affected.
Addictive relationships can be hard to define, and therefore it can be hard to tell if you are in one.
However, a bad relationship is something to take seriously, and if you can figure out that you are in one, you are one step closer to getting out of it so that you can get into a good relationship.
An addictive relationship tends to isolate either or both partners from the outdide world. It is identical to drug or alcohol dependence. It is something that keeps them apart from the things they really love and tasks they should be accomplishing. An addictive relationship is truly a dysfunctional relationship because it is defined by an increasing craving to be with a person, and by withdrawal symptoms that go along with being away from them. It also has the some of the same signs as other addictions, such as low self-esteem, passivity, magical thinking, lack of initiative, and helplessness.
Here are 7 indicators of an addictive relationship.
If you find that your relationship has these things or any number of them, chances are good that you are in a bad relationship, and should consider getting out of it.
1. If it is love at first site, an animal attraction, or infatuation, warning bells should also be going off. This might include a person that is too far away, married, not interested, or emotionally unavailable. If these things are true about your partner, yet you feel like you are drawn to them, it could be an addictive relationship.
2. If changing the other person to want you want them to be is your goal, you are in a losing situation. People will not change just because you hound them. If you find yourself constantly thinking that the relationship would be perfect if the person could just change a little bit, it is a sign of a bad relationship.
3. If know that the relationships is bad for you, but you are not able to break it off, this is a sign of an addictive relationship. you may not feel deserving of a positive relationship, perhaps you are so worried about the others reaction to a break up you lose sight of your own needs. no matter what, these are the signs of a bad relationship.
4. If you notice the realtioships of other happy people seem boring compared to yours, it may be a sign you are hooked on the chaos of an addictive relationship. Chances are that you would reject these people, in favor of the relationship that you are in.
5. If you don't feel that you can be independent within your relationship, even though you might be independent in other areas, it might be a sign of an addictive relationship.
6. If you cannot say no to the person that you are involved with, and you find yourself doing what they say and putting their needs above your own, this is the sign of an addictive relationship.
7. If your relationship makes you feel self-doubt, it is a sign that your relationship is dysfunctional.
If you find that you are in an addictive relationship, the best thing to do is to get out of the relationship. However, seek help from family and friends, and even professionals, so that you can avoid going back to the person, and so that you can learn how to appreciate yourself long enough to find a successful and good relationship.
Here is some further reading on addictive relationships:
Save Your Marriage And Avoid Divorce
The Fear Factor in Relationships
Add You: Am I Addicted To My Relationship at www.addyou.info
Sex, Love and Poly-Behavioral Addiction
Can Online Counseling for Drug and Alcohol Addiction Problems Be …
Edited by Bill Urell,
MA in Addiction Counseling, CAAP-II, Owner and Editor. -
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3 responses so far ↓
1 Leighdu // May 15, 2008 at
#2 really made me think. I am unhappy a lot in my marriage and it is always because I want my husband to change. The things I want him to change are for the positive ( he is extremely lazy) but no matter how many times I try to get him to change, it doesn't happen. Thanks for pointing this out. I didn't realize that that would constitute an addictive relationship!
2 Carys // May 15, 2008 at
Hmm… well, by this definition, I am in one technically. However, to be honest this is the way I want it to be. We're happy spending the majority of our time together, and it doesn't prevent us from our other obligations and responsibilities. Do you feel it's a problem if both parties are happy and content and still caring for their responsibilities?
3 JHS // May 17, 2008 at
Thanks for participating in this week's Carnival of Family Life by contributing this post! The Carnival is at ice cream is not for breakfast this week and will be live on Monday, May 19, 2008, so drop by and check out some of the other excellent articles included in this edition!
JHSs last blog post..Aloha Friday Edition No. 7
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