Communication skills are the key to any good, healthy relationship. Relationships are all about the interaction of two people with each other, and the most basic form of interaction is communication.
I’m sure we can all remember times when a misplaced word, a misinterpreted gesture, or a misread action led to a fight, or the worsening of an already bad situation. To that end, we have to be aware of the simple nuances in communication that can help us to keep our relationships running smoothly. Here are a few quick rules to follow:
Communication is a Two Way Thing – running off at the mouth is never a good thing, and often leads to the “foot in mouth” syndrome. Let your partner speak; if you intend to do all the talking, don’t bother with another human being, buy yourself a tape recorder or a mirror. On the other end of the spectrum, while it is true that you should be slow to speak and quick to listen, this does NOT mean you should let someone else take over a conversation and do all the talking either. It’s give and take.
Empathy is the Key - listen to your feelings. But more importantly, learn to listen to the feelings of the person you’re talking to. Empathy is a skill often lacking in “dense” people, who never realize when they’re hurting or offending other people. Put yourself in the shoes of the person you’re talking to; this is one of the biggest keys to excellent communication. This does NOT mean you need to be swayed by their emotions; it simply means you need to read what they’re feeling and act accordingly depending on what you’re out to achieve.
 Learn to Read Body Language – a good partner to empathy is the ability to read body language and facial expressions. People often say as much or more with a raised eyebrow, an eye tic, a finger twitch, or a slumping posture than they would with mere words. By the same token, learn to use body language to emphasize your points and strengthen your statements.
Read Between the Lines – this is a difficult one to do but worth it if you can master the skill. People often leave half of their statements unsaid, and this is what you have to watch out for. They will often leave it up to you to make your own conclusions or take what they say at face value (at your own peril). A classic example of this is a teenager who says “Okay, I’ll do what you say” but then they think “…but I won’t like it”. Marital relationships can be especially messy for men simply because women tend to leave even more unsaid than we do. Learning to read between the lines can save your hide, trust me.
It’s not what you say it’s howyou say it – this is something a bit easier to work on than the other pieces of advice above. The tone and rhythm of your voice can dictate whether what you say will be taken positively or negatively. A statement meant to be helpful can come across as insulting or condescending if delivered in a certain fashion. Likewise, casual advice can come across as a snarled command or a “holier than thou” statement if you’re not careful to watch HOW you say things.
Don’t Jump to Conclusions - this is a very important factor in good communication. If you’re unsure about a certain point, try to clarify it with whoever you’re talking to. Misunderstandings are easy, so when in doubt try to make sure you got everything correctly.
Don’t be a Doormat - I’m giving this rule last because most of the other rules given above seem to indicate bending backwards and going out of your way to accommodate whoever you’re talking to. This is NOT true. The rules above are common courtesies that should be observed by BOTH parties. If you’re the only one observing them and the person you’re talking to is not, then the conversation isn’t worth your time or effort. Walk away and save yourself the headache.
We hope these communication skills tips can lead to happier relationships for you !
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This is a really good review of what you should do in the event of a communication malfunction. Practice makes perfect.
I LOVE THIS