Low self-esteem and building confidence is frequently an issue that needs to be addressed in early addiction recovery. I love information that is presented in a ‘quick tips format’ and found this article on self-esteem that I thought was quite well done.
7 Steps To Achieving Healthy Self-Esteem
By Sandy Heinz
The happiest people are those who do not judge others, live in kindness and love themselves. Do you ever see someone who is perpetually happy and wish you could be like them? You CAN achieve a healthy self-esteem…it takes time and effort. Following are seven steps to help you on your way to becoming a happier, healthier YOU.
1. IDENTIFY
One is not required to live by I have to or I must everything we do is a result of a decision…a choice. Choices made in our younger years and choices made this morning when we woke up. Everything is a choice: to obey or disobey; to study or not study; to eat right or not eat right. When making these choices, we control everything about our lives including our future and our level of self-awareness. When you see a wise, confident, beautiful person its not luck, its choice. Once you realize and accept this, only then can you begin to become who it is you want to be. All of us are given gifts…special gifts and talents. Through self-discovery, we are able to identify these gifts. If we pay attention to who we are and what makes us happy, we will make the right choices to set our own future.
2. EVALUATE
Who are you? Look at yourself and be honest. Write on a piece of paper the things you like (Pros) and dont like (Cons) about you. If you are (and you should be) your own best friend, you should be able to take a look at the Cons and develop a plan to begin moving those negatives over to the positive side. Likewise, you should take a look at your Pros and develop a plan to make sure those positive attributes remain on the positive side and continue to grow on the inside AND the outside of you. As you work out a plan, try to find people with like personalities who share your same goals.
These are the very people that will make great friends and help you stay on your set path.
3. CONFIRM
Talk to yourself! Still using your list of Pros, begin reinforcing the positive attributes of your personality. I AM…. I am successful, I am pretty, I am fun!… every positive thought should be repeated often YOU are WHAT you THINK!!!
4. FORGIVE
Forgive yourself for screw ups! They happen to all of us! We are as imperfect as our bodies!! Give yourself a break forgive and move on. You cant change the past but you can live in the present and affect the future.
5. REST
Treat yourself right. Be a friend, a good listener, a giver, not a taker we feel the best about ourselves when we make someone else smile.
6. BE THANKFUL
Gratitude will get you everywhere. Give thanks to your creator. Be humble in all you have. Pray for those with cold hearts or sad lives. Really know what you have; all of the gifts, talents, and things you possess. Here today, gone tomorrow…if you live your life with gratitude and love, peace will always be in your presence.
7. ACCEPTANCE
Do not accept your fate dictated by others. Accept only the fate you give yourself. Through acts of kindness and focused determination, you can achieve all that is good in this life. When you believe in kindness and in yourself you can achieve anything. At that point self-esteem is abundant and so is your life.Know yourself. Like yourself. Live your life like everyone is only in their underwear!
About the Author :Sandy Heinz is the co-founder and CEO of Good 2ba Girl http://www.good2bagirl.net. She lives in Virginia with her husband and three children. Questions can be directed to Sandy at sandy@good2bagirl.net or visit Gigi’s Community http://www.gigigirl.net for more tips and info on relationships.
Here are some other well done articles on improving low self esteem:
Self-Esteem: Self Image, Health, Happiness – Have you ever stopped to think about how your self esteem affects other areas of your well-being? If you are suffering from low self esteem chances are you are also suffering in other areas of your life such as your health, …
Lacking Confidence – Self-Worth Or Self Respect? No Self-Esteem … – How many times in your life have you been talked to about self-esteem? In school, at work, by your friends, by your family – self-esteem is the panacea that can cure many of life’s problems but when you have issues with your self-esteem …
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
This is a great article. Having a good self esteem is so important for everyone to have. I know that I personally have a problem with number 4. I’m the worst when it comes to forgiving myself. I can forgive anyone for just about anything, but when it comes to myself I’m harder on myself then anyone else.
Interesting advice, if I were able to do all of these things, I’d be having a good life agreed but the trouble with me and other people like myself is that we have been trying to do things like these for years and we’ve then never been really able to do it …
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“Everything has a relationship”, this statement is very true to all. Like there are the ups and downs of life. Everything we do has its effects or consequences be it good or bad. Let say everything has its own opposite. It all depends on the person how he would tackle such consequences.
Very important article. I have read many inspirational books and its interesting to see that most of them suggest similar methods to boost the self esteem. Self esteem is a matter of confidence which one can get only if he loves himself.
Self esteem, a problem with no medicinal cure I think. I had this problem before and I really felt depressed on almost everything. I only seldom smile, laugh and most of all, my social life was got worst. Self esteem should be one of your priorities in life so that you could cope up with everything.
This is a fantastic article and strongly recommended for reading. I used to have a big problem with Evaluation (2), when suffering with low self esteem it is easy to list the cons about yourself and not the pros – doing both will build a better you and a very true fact noted build better relationships in the future.
Very nice article. The only thing that I have to say is in one of the last paragraphs it says that “chances are you might be suffering in other areas of your life”. No chances are! If you are suffering in this area and lack self esteem there is an underlying condition that is causing you to be this way. You need to address that issue in order to fully come out of the low self esteem thing.
very well said.. nice article, i like how you explain it, by doing all of that for sure we will boost our self-esteem. it is very important to have all those attitude in order to achieve it. thanks!
I absolutely believe that everyone should read this article. The only way you are going to be happy is to be happy with yourself. I use to just worry about everyone else and everyone elses feelings, but at the same time I wasn’t happy…I finally figured out that I had to be happy with myself before I worried about pleasing anyone else.
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Good advice,
My Cousin is a teacher and unfortunately comes up against this problem quite a bit – it seems bullying has got no better in the years I have not been at school.. From what I understand, bullying can be a major cause of low self esteem in school kids..
Andy
This is some very good advice, for everyone really. Many people suffer from low self esteem problems, and chances are there is an underlying problem causing it. These steps are crucial in helping you overcome your problems.
I loved the article on self esteem. Especially the part about writing a list about the pros and cons of your personality, I think thats Step 4 in NA. My self esteem was so much higher when I was still smoking pot. Now that I’m clean I really don’t know who I am and that is what has affected my self esteem. I’ve been clean about 5 months and I keep waiting for the moment when I can accept life on lifes terms. I miss that fuzzy seperation between me and any problems in my life. Life straight is tough.
Wow, very well written @ Sandy.. have a self esteem is another important in our lives, to live happily and contented..
One of my favorite quotes is “know yourself well and you will not lose battles.” Evaluating yourself is hard but so very important. Great post!