A lot of people believe that relapse is picking up your drug of choice in starting to use it again. In the drug and alcohol treatment field we regard the actual use of alcohol or drug as the end of the relapse process. 
Once you pick up you are in a using phase. There are many things that occur in the time period before the actual return to use, that is the relapse process we are concerned with. Just as we teach addiction recovery is a process, so is relapse. The trick is to identify the warning signs of relapse as early in the process as possible and to interrupt them before they can turn into an actual using incident.
Relapse does not suddenly occur without warning it is a process that has certain identifiable warning signs. In the 12 steps tradition they refer to this state as being ‘restless, irritable, and discontent.’ Relapse prevention therapy teaches people how to recognize the symptoms and manage these warning signs so that they can interrupt the progression and growth before it actually turns into a using incident.
There are numerous studies of patterns of recovery and relapse processes that indicates not all patients will relapse. It is unfortunate that addicts and alcoholics often pick up the implied message that relapse is a necessary part of recovery; this is not so. Statistics from United States government involving many studies with many participants, have found that approximately one-third achieve permanent abstinence from their first serious attempt at recovery. Another third have a period of brief relapse episodes but eventually achieve long-term abstinence. The final third have chronic relapses that result in eventual death from their chemical addiction or drug dependency.
About half of all relapse prone people eventually achieve permanent abstinence from drug and alcohol use many more start to lead healthier and more stable lives despite periodic relapses.
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I’ve been in recovery three years now and I’ve seen many of my friends relapse, and there is always a noticeable change in their demeanor and spiritual fitness before the relapse itself happens.