by Bill Urell
Unresolved anger and resentments can definitely be a trigger for relapse in addiction recovery.
One of the necessary skills that needs to be learned is the ability to identify and process emotions in an appropriate manner.
Every one gets angry at some point in life, whether they are faced with an injury done to them, frustration, pain, or experience a failure in plans. This particular emotion also surfaces when an individual encounters conflict or has received criticism. Although, anger is a common emotion, it rarely solves any problems. Expressing this feeling in an inappropriate manner usually misuses energy and causes missed opportunities. In the long run, anger does not accommodate the best interest of an individual.
In order to overcome or better manage anger when certain situations or emotions arise, consider some of the following tips geared towards anger management:
1) Switch Positions
Depending on what has caused your anger, try switching positions to reevaluate the circumstances. Let’s say a person becomes angry because their roommate is taking too long on the telephone. Imagine yourself doing the same action. Chances are you have had your share of long conversations and if it isn’t an emergency, you could stand a couple minutes more of waiting.
2) Think of the Future
Some people physically react when they become angry. It is important to think of opportunity and assess how your actions will affect your future. A more relaxed perspective is usually attained when you question whether or not the object of your anger will mean anything in five – ten – twenty years.
3) Imagine the Worst
Simple annoyances can breed anger, but it is suggested to ponder the worst thing that can come out of the object of your anger. For example, if someone sped up to grab a parking space before you is spending a couple seconds more looking for a new spot or walking a little further really that much of an inconvenience?
4) It’s Usually Not Personal
Sometimes, those who have caused another to become angry have no idea that their actions have wronged another. If someone cut in front of you without saying, “excuse me,” they may have acted quite rude, but most likely they did not do it on purpose. Often times, they were in a hurry or simply careless and did not see you. Usually, they didn’t mean to cause you any harm.
5) Count to 10
Before you act upon or manage your anger, it is highly recommended to take a moment to calm down. A simple way to accomplish this is to count to ten before saying a word or physically reacting.
6) Breathe Deeply
Instead of counting to ten, some people have controlled their anger by taking slow, deep breathes. It is a known fact that deeply breathing from the diaphragm leads to relaxation.
7) Pace It Out
Another technique used for calming angry thoughts is to take a walk or pace about as you count, which helps to clear the head.
Visualizations
A good way to control anger is to think of “nice” thoughts, such as your favorite person in the world, the funniest thing that has happened to you, the love of your life, or a relaxing destination (such as a tropical island). As you visualize these thoughts, close your eyes and transport yourself to this stress-free location.
9) Avoid Venting Out
It is quite common to see people vent out their frustrations by punching a pillow or throwing objects. Studies show that physically “venting out” will only increase your stress and anger, as it feeds the emotion you wish to overcome.
10) Drink Water
Research suggests that drinking water produces a calming effect on the body.
On the whole, anger management is an art that takes a bit of practice, but when achieved you will appreciate the control you possess over one of the most difficult emotions to contain. It is suggested to start today, as you will come closer to improving your overall outlook on life. Remember that your success in addiction recovery could depend on how well you learn to manage your anger and resentments
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Also, because it is based on an exaggeration, anger is an unrealistic mind; the intrinsically faulty person or thing that it focuses on does not in fact exist.
John Cows last blog post..Alexa Sucks and I Think You Will Agree
Nice post Bill. I’ve found that journalling helps a great deal when I’m angry. After writing down all your feelings of anger and reading it over, you realise how over the top you are sometimes. I wrote about it in my blog: http://www.joyfuldays.com/2008/09/write-it-down-before-you-blurt-it-out/