Comments on: Shame, Abandonment, And Fear All Mixed Up In Addiction Recovery http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/shame-abandonment-and-fear-all-mixed-up-in-addiction-recovery/ Overcoming Addiction, Growing In Addiction Recovery. Crucial Info On Getting Sober And Maintaining Sobriety. Thu, 05 Apr 2012 08:13:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Eric Graham http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/shame-abandonment-and-fear-all-mixed-up-in-addiction-recovery/comment-page-1/#comment-485465 Eric Graham Mon, 29 Aug 2011 02:02:21 +0000 http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/2008/04/05/shame-abandonment-and-fear-all-mixed-up-in-addiction-recovery/#comment-485465 Hey, dude. I know what you're going through. I was abandoned in a relationship myself in my mid-sophomore year in high school. This girl I deeply loved at the time - we had a strong love relationship for 8 months, from late freshman year to mid-sophomore year. I deeply loved her. But when she told me at the end that she cheated on me for some other dude, I was so angry and regretful that I didn't want anything more to do with her. Then near the end of sophomore year, she contacted me that she wanted to talk to me after breaking up with her new boyfriend. But when that day came to talk with her about it, she told me that her boyfriend wasn't the same as me, that she wanted to come back to me. But I said, "Go find a different guy, I see no reason for me to trust you again whatsoever. If I had to choose between you and a bitch, I'd choose the bitch." Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled to be done with her, but think about it: If I gave her a second chance at a relationship, it's like giving her a second chance to betray me again. Then I felt the same way about any other girl that I liked. So any girl I liked during high school, I stopped liking. Anyhow, I know that feeling: the feeling that you feel inadequate for the person you love, and that once they leave you, you feel like you aren't capable of loving another person. Hey, dude. I know what you’re going through. I was abandoned in a relationship myself in my mid-sophomore year in high school. This girl I deeply loved at the time – we had a strong love relationship for 8 months, from late freshman year to mid-sophomore year. I deeply loved her. But when she told me at the end that she cheated on me for some other dude, I was so angry and regretful that I didn’t want anything more to do with her.

Then near the end of sophomore year, she contacted me that she wanted to talk to me after breaking up with her new boyfriend. But when that day came to talk with her about it, she told me that her boyfriend wasn’t the same as me, that she wanted to come back to me. But I said, “Go find a different guy, I see no reason for me to trust you again whatsoever. If I had to choose between you and a bitch, I’d choose the bitch.”

Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled to be done with her, but think about it: If I gave her a second chance at a relationship, it’s like giving her a second chance to betray me again. Then I felt the same way about any other girl that I liked. So any girl I liked during high school, I stopped liking.

Anyhow, I know that feeling: the feeling that you feel inadequate for the person you love, and that once they leave you, you feel like you aren’t capable of loving another person.

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