The question of whether a non-alcoholic should be allowed in AA has been a question causing debate for over 70 years.
Bill Wilson addresses two key issues in this speech:
1. AA’s singleness of purpose, and
2. The autonomy of each group
Now is the founder of AA the be all and end all? I don’t know, folks will still argue about that. Let’s see 1,000,000 AA members agreeing on something…NOT.
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{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
To me, not allowing non-alcoholics/addicts in to AA and other 12 step meetings is another way of trying to hide the fact that we are alcoholics/addicts from others which in a way is denying we are alcoholics/addicts at least to some part of us. Everyone who wants to know what Alcoholics/Addicts talk about in these meetings should be allowed to attend is what I think
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If possible, AA should consist of recovered addicts. No matter how much a Teacher tells you that they understand, the reality is, they really don’t understand. If you have never been there, you really don’t know how it is, you can only assume. I am a Man and I really don’t know what it is to have or experience child birth. I can tell my wife all day long that I know what she is or have gone thru, but in actuallity, I’m only assuming.
So truby, you mean to say that they must be allowed. Even i say the same. They must experience what is happening inside. Only then they might get the chances to know. Let them enter and study what they want. It is upto them to follow or not. One cannot be forced to do everything.
we should alway place principles before personalities. There for if you go to an ” alcoholics anonymous meeting” alcohol being the one common denominator, the one principle is to deal with your alcohol problem. If I have other problems, I should seek outside help.
Thank you How do i get the tape of Bill W talking about Singleness of Purpose ?
Hello ! May this find you well and grateful this day.
It is my experience that recovery is about recovery from the disease of addiction,NOT its symptoms/the substance.If I think the substance is the problem I am in denial,and taking the focus off me.Addiction is thoughts that lie to us saying that true joy and fulfillment is on the outside,not always,already in our Hearts.So-what does it matter if the disease manifests in a different substance than the next newcomer? There isn’t an alcoholic and addict.We are all addicts.Maybe it’s an ego thing,or denial.Interstingly,the Narcotics Anonymous 12-step fellowship,(which was given Bill W.’s blessings) changed the first step to powerless over addiction,not drugs or alcohol.(alcohol is a drug anyway) I have been NA meetings,and they welcomed everyone,because it was about addiction,not the symptom/substance .Gamblers,Overeaters,Sex,etc,have their own stable fellowships.But as for the disease of addiction in the form of chemicals,AA/NA are one;or at least should be.For any group to turn any suffering addict away would have Bill W.,Bob S., and Jimmy Kinnon(NA founder,1953) would have them turning over in their graves! Indiana Joe
This is in reply to Indiana Joe. Alcohol in and itself is not a narcotic. It is not an addictive substance such as heroin, cocaine, or methamphetemene or even nicotene. People with addictive personalities may become addicted to alcohol but there are many people who are addicted to drugs that are not alcoholic.
Where does someone with an alcohol problem go, with whom do they identify with, if what they here in a A.A. meetings is a drug pitch? There is no other place for them. As Bill says there is no problem with addicts attending open meetings as visitors, but A.A. must follow it’s Singleness of Purpose to stay effective.
Drug addiction is serious – as serious as being an alcoholic. There is a 12 step program for drug addiction. If you are dually addicted go to AA too and talk about drinking there and drugs in NA or MA or CA or whatever. What do you do when an alcoholic slips on pills or pot or heroin? Do they change their sobriety date? My experience is that a 1 step with alcoholism is not the same thing as a 1st step with anything else. I’ve tried in vain for several years to work with a woman who changed her sobriety date when she admitted she’d been smoking pot before she came to me. How about gambling? Should I change my sobriety date because I had a bad night on the slots? How about sex addiction… couldn’t help yourself and stayed up all night watching porn – so even though you have 12 years, you realize that you’re sick and need to go back to 1 day? I do not think that is best for AA but SA might welcome you with open arms – and there you’ll find a kindred spirit to 12-step. If you don’t go there, someone will not benefit from you recovery because you were too vain. “Sometimes the good is the deadly enemy of the best.” My home group is suffering from these confusions. We cannot be all things to all people. It reminds me of snake oil… which was sold btw to alcoholics who wanted to believe that it would solve all of their ailments, and it certain looked that way because most of it was grain alcohol. Singleness of purpose is not a segregation issue – it’s an issue of staying on topic and protecting the clarity of AA’s message.
We welcome everyone at AA open meetings, if your life is unmanageable due to over eating, gambling, sex, drugs whatever we welcome you and you will be with sober people who love you no mater what you are. However for respect of our Fellowship we talk about Alcoholism and identify ourselves as alcoholics. “Non alcoholics can not be AA members”, Bill W, co-founder of AA words, you are welcome to attend our meeting and listen, you just may be able to identity with us, if not there are many spin offs of AA, ie, NA, CA, SA, OA, ACOA and the list goes on all of which uses our 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. Just keep coming back. David A 20 year friend of Bill’s……
So truby, you mean to say that they must be allowed. Even i say the same. They must experience what is happening inside. Only then they might get the chances to know. Let them enter and study what they want. It is upto them to follow or not. One cannot be forced to do everything.
i have neve had a problem with alcholism but i do know a few people that hav and i think they need and deserve all the support in the world, espically the people who want to change
I have attended so many meetings where nonalcoholics such as ‘overeaters’ or ‘codependents’ dominate with their sharing, and their uneducated opinions. Its fine if they want to express themselves but they need to be in a different group.They are wasting the limited amount of time a one hour meeting allows, for the AA’s in the room. Their opinions, experience etc as a nonalcoholic are not what an alcoholic needs in an AA meeting. Some have so dominated that at times its unrecognizable as a AA meeting.
The only requirment for membership is a desire to stop “DRINKING”, not drugs, not food, et. al. I have experienced trying to play this game and it about killed me. I to, like many others, have drugs in my story—-with that said, “Alcohol was my Master”, fortunately I, by the grace of the god of my understanding, understand today what Bill Wilson warns against “trying to save the world”. I cant understand why this is so hard for people to understand, if you are addicted to issues other than alcohol, go to the proper fellowship and identify with the people that have the same problem as you. You then may find the recovery you deserve, and in turn have the opportunity to help someone with the same problem.
The key to singleness of purpose is being able to relate. I can’t relate to an drug user because my problem was alcohol. I have to be able to understand the feelings the drug user has before I can relate to them. They have to be able to relate to my feelings to understand me too. I am an alcoholic, that is who I relate with, Thank GOD.
Tradition Three clearly states “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop DRINKING” as stated above. In reference to the man who came and asked, “.. will you let me join your group? Since I am the victim of another addiction even worse stigmatized than alcoholism, you may not want me among you. Or will you?” Then they ask, “What would the Master do?” So the man stays. I think it is very important to bring out the sentence in Tradition Three that doesn’t get brought up a lot when discussing this issue…..
..”Overjoyed, the newcomer plunged into Twelfth Step work. Tirelessly he laid AA’s message before scores of people. Since this was a very early group, those scores have since multiplied themselves into thousands. NEVER DID HE TROUBLE ANYONE WITH HIS OTHER ADDICTION. AA had taken its first step in the formation of Tradition Three.”
What AA has taught me is that it’s not about how “I” feel or think. It’s about following the Traditions. I’m lots of things…. AA is not aftercare or multifamily or group therapy or how is your day anonymous…. It’s an ALCOHOLICS Anonymous meeting. Anything other than that is an outside issue and can gladly be discussed OUTSIDE the meeting if I so choose.
I was in a meeting a few years ago, and an older lady who had been coming for several months said, “I’m not sure I’m an alcoholic because I’ve never done drugs.” I thought, “how sad! What kind of message has this lady really received?”
Heard a speaker say that she used to identify herself as an alcoholic/addict, and a “crusty old timer” (as she put it) would always grumble, “yeah, and I have hemorrhoids.” For several years she didn’t know why he would say that until one day she asked. His response, “You being anything other than an alcoholic in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting is just as much an outside issue as me having hemorrhoids.”
This made perfect sense. It’s an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, not Alcoholic/Addict Anonymous or Additions Anonymous. Bill W. also says some very good things in the “Problems Other Than Alcohol” pamphlet (the whole pamphlet, not the little excerpt). It has really opened my eyes.
“The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking”. I am not sure why this is being dragged into a huge issue. I sometimes feel very uncomfortable when people insistently talk about their problem with Heroin or Crystal in their dialogs when they are speaking without mentioning Alcohol. I consider myself an addict, I quit drugs without any consequences but it was only this last run with alcohol that took me out. So I feel it is important for people that have problems with drugs only allowed into meetings with hopes that they may “get it”, and not have to kill themselves with alcohol or any substance.
The fact of the matter is that addiction/alcoholism is a deadly disease, it takes out families, it destroys lives and takes your loved ones away. If we stick to the format in the speaker dialog and talk about this in a general way without a drug or alcohol dialog only, just maybe.. just maybe someone’s life will be saved.
AA is for the alcoholic only period. Many of us do have other addictions but our singleness of purpose keeps the alcoholic sober. If someone was seeking out an AA meeting and came across a bunch of druggies talking about their using it is likely he won’t relate and will continue to drink. The same can be said for the addict that comes to AA to see how the addict stays clean. He may only come across alcoholics that are unable to advise him to quit the drug. This is a dangerous path as surly the addict will use again.
Why discriminate against the drug addict and allow those that are addicted to cigarettes, gambling, sex and food. While addiction does have clinical similarities, recovery depends on being around others with your experiences.
There is nothing wrong with a Narcotic or Cocaine addict attending AA meetings especially if they have a desire not to drink and they follow the AA traditions. Most don’t, they want to talk about there heroin use, vicodin use, cocaine use, which is not keeping Alcoholics being our primary purpose. AA is not really helping these drug addicts because they never feel like they can open up in a room of AA people. I know from experience that the way I use drugs was a lot different from when I was drinking and that is what the common bond is knowing exactly how the other guy thinks and acts. That is why AA worked so well, now you mix it up with addicts, cocaine, or gamblers and it’s all mixed up and no one has that commonality that AA used for carrying the message. How does a drug addict in a AA group help the 60 year old man who an Alcoholic at his first meeting, what can the heroin addict share with that man. We need to start following the traditions in NA and AA.
One other thing then I’ll end, so many drug addicts sit in AA meetings using and no Alcoholics approach them to ask how they are doing and the drug addict looses his accountability that the NA’s would probably question him if they noticed his eyes or some dead give away of the addict. The whole thing is send these drug addicts to the proper meetings just as Bill W. suggested back in the 50′s, so that AA can keep to what it does best help the Alcoholic.
The problem with the meetings these days, is 1st all those in attendance who were coerced & forced to attend, due to a court & judge. They do not belong there, one is supposed to have a desire to stop drinking. Thus, those forced should not be in attendance, AA needs to stop participating in court ordered attendees, it is hypercritical & the antithesis of the foundation of the program. Secondly, can AA weed out those who should not be attending, the mentally ill that wander in, the lonely, those that attend for meat market purposes, the predatory who are seeking vulnerable people. Do not know how to solve these problems, these above problems are factors that contribute to AA’s many failures & the low recovery rates.
The long form of the 3rd tradtion states specifically that one must suffer from alcholism to claim AA membership; desire does not count. We cannot be all things to all people.
Besides – the junkies have their own fellowship, and they have a repsonsiblity to help their own. As for their help, we were doing well before the junkies started diluting our message, and when they finally die due to lack of identification, I say better them than me.
Many good points about ‘Singleness of Purpose’ are made in the above posts. I was told by a Past Delegate that he has come across more than one person who was once for ‘court cards’ but now feels it is cumbersome to enforce ‘Singleness of Purpose’.
That being said, court cards are here and I doubt they are going away. Treatment Centers are highly convinced by ‘lumping’ alcoholics and addicts into the same group- it means ONE type of ‘addictions’ counselor an ONE bus that takes everyone to ‘meetings’ be they NA, CA or AA.
Let’s also not give up credit to our own faults. I work with A LOT of young people with substance abuse problems and let me tell you a little secret: the same crusty old Big Book Thumper who tosses out the first addict who identifies himself as such at his home group- WILL tell his niece, nephew or dear family friend that there isn’t any recovery to be found in NA rooms and they need to ‘fake it till they make it in AA’.
Let’s look to the story in the Back of the Big Book ‘Acceptance is the Answer’. A dear friend of mine once had lunch with the author and his wife Max. He claims that the author of that story is highly disappointed that AA as a whole has take that story to be all about ‘accepting things as they are’. The story continues that he is supposed to have meant to relay this message to all of us ‘FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM AND THE PROBLEM INCREASES-FOCUS ON THE SOLUTION AND THE SOLUTION INCREASES’.
So, the problem is clearly stated in ‘Problems other than Alcohol’ “there is no way of making an AA member out of a non-alcoholic addict’. But the question is what is the SOLUTION?
Do we stick to the definition of ‘Open Meetings’ in the ‘AA Group Pamphlet’ and allow non-alcoholics to attend only as OBSERVERS? That might be a good start; however, I feel the solution is two fold:
1. We must take on the education of counselors and treatment facilities, probation officers and school administrators at the committee level. CPC, PI, Treatment and Corrections have a responsibility to start educating these people about the fact that that AA gifted the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions to the world. Hundreds of 12 Step Fellowships have flourished using these two sets of philosophy as a basis for their own ‘Singleness of Purpose’. (Let’s not forget that NA itself has a ‘Clarity Statement’ that asks attendees NOT to identify themselves as Addicts AND Alcoholics). AA has asked in return for two respects from the world as a whole: allow the individual member to maintain their anonymity and allow us to stick to the one thing we do best SOBERING UP DRUNKS. If you don’t have a drunk for us then send your problem man to anther 12 Step Fellowship that deals with that problem. This may upset them initially, it upset the Oxford Group’s evangelical outlook on bettering mankind as a whole. In the long run it was best for both AA and the Oxford Groupers themselves. In the end it was paramount to the salvation of the ‘still suffering alcoholic’. IT STILL IS!
2. The second suggestion I have on this topic is to that AA members who have had drug problems in the past take a look at the message in the later half of the ‘Problems other than Alcohol’ Pamphlet. These other Fellowships need assistance in some geographic areas, particularly rural areas. If an AA member with history of drug abuse truly wishes to assist the ‘still suffering addict’ in finding a solution to their problems he/she needs to get out of their comfort zone for a minute and go help addicts JUST DON’T CALL IT AN AA MEETING while your doing it.
We are always looking to argue our way out of a problem. That is human nature. The answer to this growing problem is universal: anything worth having is worth working for.
Of course non-alcoholics are allowed in any open AA meeting. There is never an issue with that. It is asked that they do not share since it is a meeting for those with a desire to stop drinking. Closed meetings are limited to those with a desire to stop drinking. The reason for this is that some do not wish others that are not like them know they come to AA and they need to know they are safe. As far as dual addictions, yes, many of us have them, as do I. I don’t get specific on the the type of dope, but then again, I don’t go into my perfered flavor of booze either. Some times I identify as alcoholic, sometimes as alcoholic/addict. No one really cares. It only seems to be a deal to me if I’m doing it to be defient. Which is frustrating, because it doesn’t get a reaction anyhow. Usually the only time I dual identify is when I need to hear it myself. However when I was new I did for years because I needed to hear it for me so I remebered I had no out. By the way, I have have 26 years clean and sober. It does work, if you do the work.
I feel that AA as a whole is what it say’s it is. Alcoholics Anonomous.
I also feel that Alcohol has led us to other addictions. But Singleness of Purpose as far as AA goes deals with problems with Alcohol. Has anyone asked what are the feelings of the person who is Alcoholic, and never touched another substance. He may say Thats not me and go home. That is why AA asks you to keep your story to matters that pertain to Alcohol.
I am an Alcohlic and and addict, but I also attend NA meetings. I keep my story in check at an AA meeting and Talk about my Alcoholism. At NA meetings I identify as an addict. It is really quite simple. Most good Sponsors will tell you. ” If you have problems other than Alcohol, maybe you should look for outside help other than AA ” It all depends on you.
I have a group in my area that has a woman making cakes for everyone’s anniversary. She is not an AA, her boyfriend was. she has admitted she is not an AA. Her close friend thought it would be a great idea if she became a group member. The group was made up of a lot of new members and she was voted in as a group member. Now they have a non AA. making group decisions for AA’s. Where is her experience, strentgh and hope if she is not an AA. This lady is trying to help AA’s and has no clue what alcoholism is about. Is that fair to the new comer? She can say what she wants and go home not worrying about drinking. Needless to say she makes the coffee also. My opinion is, she is taking up a job that a newcomer could be doing. ( Please remember this is my opinion only, and only contributes to one vote in any group conscience )
I guess I’m saying we are dealing with a death sentence for us all and we should take it seriously. If your prmary drug of choice is drugs, then seek advice from people that have the most experience with drugs. If your Primary drug of choice is Alcohol then do the same. If you have a problem with both, then go to both. Just try to keep the drug a logue and drunk a logue separate.
As for the couselors shrinks, of whom many have no experience what so ever with either AA or NA. You should be smart enough to direct your ( customers, patients, consumers, whatever you refer to us as) to the right area of expertise. Not just throw them into one place and leave the groups to sort this out and redirect the person to the appropriate area of expertise. It took me a while to figure this out, and I’m not always right. As a matter of fact I’m wrong alot, but pride and ego will keep this debate going for a long time.
AA’s third tradition states .. “The only requirement for membership is a desire to STOP DRINKING!
AA’s problems other than Alcohol (excerpts) pamphlet #F-8…. question # 1 “can a pill or drug addict become an AA member….. Answer…NO!
AA’s fifth tradition regarding the groups message.. “Each group has but one primary purpose-to carry it’s message to the ALCOHOLIC who still suffers.
Of course Addicts may attend open meetings and receive the Experience Strength and hope of Recovered and Recovering Alcoholics. However, it is pretty darn self centered and selfish to think anyone would want to come to a Meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and insist on discussing there problems with narcotics, gambling, sex..et al. The third step tells us we are selfish and self centered to the extreme. I had to find this out by working the Twelve Steps…with a sponsor.
I really empathize with a suffering addict , however I cannot help them because I cannot identify with them…I am an Alcoholic and I attend AA.
Get a sponsor, work the 12 steps, find a higher power of your understanding, receive the spiritual awakening talked about in the 12th step and carry the message to your respective fellowship. Work with others with same problem you have and receive the blessings your higher power offers.
God can and will if he is sought.
Ryan
I was relieved the day I read the pamphlet Problems Other than Alcohol. Bill Wilson was very specific on this point and it answers many questions regarding Singless of Purpose very clearly. I would love to be able to find something in our AA literature stating that participation in an Open AA meeting (sharing) is limited to AA members (those with a desire to stop drinking). My understanding is that unless a group has made the decision to use the Blue Card it becomes difficult and often unpopular to enforce who shares in an AA meeting. The liberals want to allow everyone a chance to share in the Open Meeting and my feeling is let them attend but you have no business sharing unless you are an alcoholic or at least have a desire to stop drinking.
“I really empathize with a suffering addict , however I cannot help them because I cannot identify with them…I am an Alcoholic and I attend AA.”
I don’t really understand why you can’t identify with a suffering addict. You have the same disease as them, you just preferred different types of cocktails.
Grinningsoul, Ryan, others –
The argument alcohol is different from other drugs because “anyone” can become an addict is specious. If one hundred people are forced to inject heroin for a month, they will have withdrawal symptoms when they stop taking it, but THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT ALL ADDICTS. An addict is someone who continues to crave and need to get high again AFTER the withdrawal period is over. Not all of those people will crave heroin after withdrawing. They aren’t addicts.
Also, if you’re an alcoholic who used other drugs “non-addictively”, guess what, you’re still an addict. you’re no different from the heroin or freebase addict who lost all interest in marijuana after discovering his drug of choice.
Singleness of Purpose isn’t a matter of ego or denial. Alcoholism isn’t about a substance, but a state of mind and body and spirit. The reason for a Single Purpose is more a mission statement than anything. Alcoholics Anonymous has a Single Focus and it should remain that way. The 12 Traditions point out the hazards from diverting from that purpose, using examples like,” The Washingtonians,” and the example of a Treatment Facility and Education Center in Tradition 5. These Institutions failed because they spread themselves too thin and and had too many hands in one basket. When these groups diverted from their Primary Purpose, the failed and disintegrated in time. Alcoholics Anonymous had decided, however, to cooperate but not affiliate. They loaned their 12 Steps to it’s members who wanted to place their focus on other issues. Alcoholics Anonymous should remain clear and pure in it’s Primary Purpose. Anyone claiming membership in Alcoholics Anonymous should express gratitude for their recovery by respecting A.A.’s Single Purpose, regardless of their personal opinion. I have issues to deal with, other than Alcoholism. However, I maintain the Single Purpose of A.A. by not burdening it or its members with them. There is a story of an individual in Tradition 3. He had a more stigmatized affliction, as they referred to it in the story. A.A. allowed him in and he helped many Alcoholics. But, he never burdened them with his other issue. I believe that is a spiritual principle that should be maintained in Alcoholics Anonymous. I have had to sacrifice many of my ideals since coming to A.A. for the greater good of A.A.
As to the comment about people with Court Cards being FORCED to attend A.A. Meetings, this is not true. Noone is FORCED to attend A.A. Meetings through the court system. Believe it or not, the courts do not have the power to FORCE us to do anything but time for the crimes committed. Going to meetings and having a Court Card signed is an individual choice. This choice is usually made because if they choose to go to meetings, their jail time is greatly reduced. I was never forced to attend an A.A. Meeting and I went before 2 judges who suggested that I go. I had 2 DUI’s. On the day I was sentenced, I found out that I was going to get time served whether I went to meetings or not. However, if I chose not to go to meetings, I would get a longer period of probation, a suspension of my license and my charges would stick, instead of being dismissed had I gone to meetings. I opted not to go to meetings and to continue on in my disease for 3 more years before I voluntarily walked into an A.A. Meeting. This may have been a stupid decision then. But, had I chose a Court Card at a time when I was not ready, I may have formed a more negative opinion of A.A. and I might not have had the opportunity to write this comment with over 21 years of sobriety. As far as having open meetings, I think we should have them. A.A. has always had open meetings. It discusses that on pages 159-161 of the Big Book. But visitors should refrain from sharing. Guardians of the Traditions should challenge any non alcoholic who tries to share and hyphenated alcoholics should refrain as best they can from sharing about drugs because in Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings, there are Alcoholics. To ignore that fact is an act of selfishness. There are actually Alcoholics in Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings that don’t identify with addictively popping pills, slamming needles in their arms or even smoking a joint. They are simply Alcoholics and Alcoholics Anonymous is Primarily for them. The rest should act as visitors, respectful of A.A.’s Single Purpose…..
As an alcoholic/addict I feel we should respect A.A. Traditions and identify ourselves as Alcoholics, not as Addicts or Alcoholic/Addicts. Bill W said it was OK for addicts to attend open meetings but not closed ones. However, “The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking”. (Tradition 3). I have that desire as when I drink, I drug. Therefore, even if my main concern is drugging I am still “qualified” to be an active member of A.A. but I also have the responsibility of respecting the rest of A.A’s Traditions. If this means referring to myself as an Alcoholic and only discussing my problems as they relate to alcoholism, then so be it. I should show my respect accordingly. If I/you don’t like it, then there are other fellowships I/you can join.
Ten people were locked up for 30 days and all were given the same drug and the same amount every day. After 30 days they came out and all were addicted to the drug.
Ten people were locked up for 30 days and all were given alcohol each and every day. At he end of the 30 days only the alcoholic was addicted.
How sad that too many meetings worry about saving everyone that alcoholics stay away because they can’t relate……………I’ve seen it happen. We shall destroy ourselves from the inside out.
God help us.
Wow! What a topic and what powerful thoughts! Like some of you have shared, one cannot agree more with Bill’s interpretation of the ‘Singularity of Purpose’ of AA. I had been to a few NA meetings early in my recovery – but only because it would have been a clean date celebration of a friend I’d made during my time in rehab. When called to share at those meetings, I would naturally hesitate when introducing myself – whether to call myself an alcoholic or addict, or alcoholic and addict. The Chair would then attempt to put me at ease, stating that “we’re all addicts here – even to alcohol.” Somehow, I was not convinced of this thinking and consequently stopped going. I simply could not relate to or identify with any of the speakers.
I am an AA member in every sense that I am completely powerless over alcohol, that I cannot just stop with 1 drink and that my life and the lives of others go to hell every time I drink. Period. However, like some of you have shared, I realise that we do not look up/down at people with problems other than alcohol – who attend AA meetings. The concern here is that when a sharing is diluted with references of using any substance other than alcohol, the real newbie alcoholic may go away confused about whether or not they’ve come to ‘the right place’ – and should this happen, we’ve simply failed our Primary Purpose as mentioned in the Preamble to Alcoholics Anonymous. The same goes for newcomers with problems other than alcohol abuse. Well-meaning 12th Steppers would usually bring a newcomer to the meeting/fellowship that best addresses the needs of the newcomer rather than his/her own. This will also help bring AA’s fifth Tradition into the right context.
Although one cannot really ‘control’ a share, it may help if the Chair requests that sharings remain focused on coping with alcoholism and recovery from it – considering that it IS an AA meeting. It encourages people with dual/multiple addictions to develop a healthy respect for AA, its Traditions and Primary Purpose. We are, after all, dealing with a serious matter of life and death for ourselves and countless others.
In gratitude and service.
The problem is that AA meetings are now filled with people (mostly women)who SAY they are alcoholics but after listening to them you can see clearly that there is not a hint of alcoholic suffering in their stories, that they really are not ‘speaking my language’ , have not ‘been where I have been’, etc., etc. These people seem to be over-eating women or people whose primary substance was recreational(illegal) drugs or and various other misfits who apparently have no other place to go. AA works because it is for drunks, it is not meant to be ‘come one, come all’.
I’m a drunk, a souse, a piss-head, and I want to be in AA meetings with drunks, souses, and piss-heads because these are the people who brought me the message and saved my life.
BTW, thanks to AA I have not taken a drink or any other mood-altering drug or medication(doctor- prescribed or not) for 33 years.
We discussed “Singleness of Purpose” last night in my home group. The BIG difference between what is explained by many AA members and how Bill W. explained it is this: Bill W. didn’t focus on alcoholics vs. addicts; he spoke of alcoholics, then neurotics, gamblers, overeaters, morphine addicts, etc.
I think this is a much more effective way to explain singleness of purpose. It seems through much of this discussion and in most meetings focusing on this topic, it’s always about AAs vs drug addicts. I know I would find it much less discriminatory if it was explained exactly as Bill W. does with the emphasis that AA cannot be all things to all people or it will amount to nothing for anyone. But he doesn’t zero in on the drug addict as the one who is not welcome, thus alienating a member of society already accustomed to being alienated again and again…the last thing they (we) need. I also respect NA a great deal for making the alcoholic feel welcome in that an alcoholic is an addict who is addicted to the drug alcohol.
I came into Alcoholics Anonymous July 4, 1982 at the age 26 a broken man, willing to do what ever it would take to get well, our singleness of purpose was pointed out to me at the beginning, we cannot be all thing to all people , better to be good at one, so out of respect for the real alky and our program I kept my other addictions where they belonged out of A.A., and when I felt the need to talk about other issues I went to other groups that I could benefit from , fallowing some simple guidelines with the help of the 12step and 12 traditions I have walked a free man for 29 years , I transformed from a Ignorant self centered immature young man that didn’t have a clue, into a responsible young adult that learned the program doesn’t mold itself to fit me rather I mold myself to better fit our A.A.program, I have had one heck of a cool journey walking in the sunlight of the spirit, fallowing all of the rules,
just one day at a time.
Indiana Joe and NA voice have it right on!!! The disease I suffer from is SYMPTOMIZED by my alcohol and drug use. My recovery is about putting down ANY substance that took me away from my fellow man and my Higher Power. The cocktails I used were a combo of alcohol and drugs. Since becoming sober AND clean, I turn my will over on a daily basis, I ask for help, give thanks, review my actions and ask for guidance in correcting it. I have a healthy fear of sliding down toward DRINKING or USING again, because neither of those actions, which are one and the same, will solve my problems, which are internal and all about me: resentments, pride, anger, etc. When I share at meetings, I’m not there to do a drunkalogue or a drugalogue, I’m there to talk about the real issues, as drinking and drug use were but a symptom of my problem. And as far as I’m concerned, “the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking” does NOT EXCLUDE others, as so many have pointed out here, what it does is says that the MINIMUM requirement is that desire!! I am grateful for the spiritual principles which this program has given me, for the liberty it has given me, and I hope and pray that others will allow ‘all who wish’, to recover from their addictions to alcohol or drugs in AA if they want, because, as they say in NA: Alcohol is a drug. Period. And, by the way, the drug of my choice is not represented well in its own separate fellowship, so should I be denied recovery because its ‘brand’ isn’t out there? No, AA works well for me. I have a desire to stop drinking, because it leads me to stupid behaviours, regrets, shame, and the use of drugs I want to stay away from. Thank you for my sobriety.
An excellent starting point for commentary would be the remarks in Bill’s Story and in Bob’s Story in the Big Book where both men mixed booze and drugs with disastrous results – just as I did. It’s good to start with the facts rather than to interpret the “rules.”
I think people get entirely too caught up in this issue. The “singleness” of purpose comes from the 5th tradition, which says nothing about a “singleness” of purpose; it does however mention a PRIMARY purpose. There is a big difference between the definitions of singleness and primary; our traditions state that it is a primary purpose, the traditions being part of our 3 legacies that is what I choose to follow. That being said, let’s look at the definition of primary
pri•ma•ry /ˈpraɪmɛri, -məri/ Show Spelled [prahy-mer-ee, -muh-ree] Show IPA adjective, noun, plural -ries.
adjective
1. First or highest in rank or importance; chief; principal: his primary goals in life.
I have been trying to figure out where in that definition or any other definition of primary does it say exclusive, only, single, or any other definitively limiting statement. Excuse me for following the traditions and not the gossip, but what I read is that our most important object must always be, first and foremost, alcohol, however nowhere does it say that drugs can not be a part of your story. It merely clarifies that drugs cannot be your ENTIRE story. There is a clear difference between going up to the podium, identifying yourself as an addict and going into detailed war stories and going up there, letting people know how alcohol affected you and how it led to other substances and vice versa, and then doing what you are supposed to do and moving on to the solution, we aren’t supposed to be sharing our misery anyways, we are supposed to be sharing the solution… Everyone already understands the misery. That being said lets look at a couple other issues, as far as the 3rd tradition. Read AA Comes of Age (General Service Conference Approved Literature) and what Bill W says in it about the third tradition, the third tradition wasn’t meant to keep people out, it’s purpose was that “once you say you are an AA member, you are an AA member” no matter what other circumstances affect you. Are traditions are about personal sacrifice and overall humbleness, not exclusion and witch burning. For those who say that drugs CAN NOT be a part of your story, have you actually read the Big Book, if you have, I strongly suggest you go back and re-read the stories, because I see mention of “outside” issues repeatedly, alcohol mixed with strong sedatives (sound familiar), or how about the story of the doctor who was IV’ing morphine. These stories don’t focus and revolve around the outside issue because that is not our PRIMARY purpose; however they are mentioned because it is a peripheral part of their story. Shame on those who try to keep people out because of fear. If it’s ok for our basic text to mention alcohol mixed with other addictions, how can we say it’s not ok for someone to mention a similar story at a meeting? Here’s another good one, why don’t you look up a 3rd edition copy of the big book, and check the story titles. Some of you are saying that we should exclude certain people because we can’t identify with their stories, I have yet to find a person in AA who has been able to relate or identify with every single story they have heard in the fellowship, that’s why we tell the newcomer to “keep coming” because it is a safe assumption that if they do, they will eventually hear something can identify with. That being said, if pre-AA, alcohol was never your primary solution to the real problem, you probably would be better off in another fellowship, that does not mean, you cannot sit among us, and work the 12steps and traditions, i have yet to find someone who’s life they made worse. However, if alcohol is not PART OF YOUR STORY, you should not be sharing that story during the duration of the meeting.
That means don’t go up to the podium and say I never had a problem with alcohol heroine, crack, etc was my issue. It does not mean you can’t go up to the podium and say I am an alcoholic, that alcohol opened the door and lead to other substances such as, etc. etc. etc., or I liked to mix alcohol and whatever… the point being alcohol MUST be part of your story when sharing, however it does not have to be the only part.