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It’s been 5 years since I used to run to San Francisco (Jones St) everyday to cop myself an OC
or anything I could get my hands on, I’ve come so far since then…I remember hating mylife, myself and everything about everything..I don’t know how I made it out alive to be honest…It was just one of those spur of the moment things were a friend had convinced me to move to Colorado with him, the fact that he had a whole bottle of Mr.feelgood is what really talked me into it.

I ended up getting into trouble and then sitting in a jail cell long enough (45 days) to re-think everything, plus the fact that I was lucky enough to meet a girl before I got arrested and was willing to support me helped me snap out of things kinda..

I can tell you right now, I wanted that 45 days so bad. I needed it, I was ready to quit but just couldn’t do it alone. I had been though drug treatments, NA meeting and so on, so I had the education on addiction and how it worked, but that jail time was what I really needed to come clean because it was forced and I knew I needed it.

Well, I’ll be honest, when I got out of jail, I was introduced to something other then OC, it’s called Suboxone…I took it once and have never, had the urge to do anything else.

I’ve been on it for nearly 5 years now and my life is so much much better, the only problem and up until the last year a so, I’m ready to stop taking it, because I just don’t wana be on anything anymore…I hate being dependent.

Thats coming next, it’s just taking along time to me.

But for anyone else, If your clean and your able to keep it up, I praise you so much, because you have to be extremely strong to do it alone, seeing how I’ve had help.

Anyways, life is so much better when you can dream again and have goals, I’ve gone from a street junkie with no money to an independent online web developer with a very bright future ahead of me and if I can do it anyone can, you just have to want it bad enough.

About Me and my latest project

Adams last blog post..About Me

S.M.A.R.T recovery saved my life it is so much better than 12 steps what do you think. I hated 12 steps because everyone on the group was a victim.

Here’s a chance to receive recovery history you were not able to attend and hear.

A Nationwide History Recovery Conference with Dick B. was held in Southern California in Mid-October, 2008. Events took place at Pasadena, North Hollywood, and San Dimas, California. They were hosted by those dedicated to learning about early A.A.’s spiritual roots and astonishing successes. There were four sessions. And each was recorded by Rusty Warner of Smile God Loves You Tapes (Peoria, Arizona). If you would like to hear one of the talks or obtain all four recorded sessions, you may contact Smile God Loves You Tapes and purchase them from Rusty. God Bless, Dick B. http://www.dickb.com/index.shtml

I’m new on this site and I just wan’t to say good job those people who are fighting with their addiction. I’m recomending this site to my friends so that I can share with them some of the insight that I’ve found here.

William Taylors last blog post..Learn How Collaborative Divorce is Different

really inspiring stories I used to be an addict and overcame. so good luck to everyone here also.

mike linleys last blog post..Top 10 Scariest Movies Ever – People’s Choice #1

HI Leslie and welcome! I am glad you stopped using and getting help! you are on the right track and its good to hear that you want to take care of your son. If you have any questions concerns..issues just post or message one of us here..we are here to help…thanks for sharing!

Hi Leslie,

congratulations to you. I’m verry happy for you for not using it anymore…

Good job Leslie, very proud of you and your great accomplishment!

Reading through these stories has inspired me to call my brother, with whom I haven’t spoken in years. He had an alcohol and RX drug problem (has since gotten treatment), and the last straw was when he tagged along when my wife and I were house hunting. He’d disappear for several minutes in each house… turns out he was rifling through their bathrooms looking for drugs. I basically swore I’d never speak to him again. But I’m coming to understand that he was out of control and not thinking rationally enough to make the right decision in that circumstance. I think I’m ready to forgive him and re-establish my ties with him. Thanks all!

John

Hi Leslie,

It feels so good to know you’re making great leaps towards progress. Never give up! You’re a strong person and you’re going to make it. And don’t forget not to look back.

back in 11/05 loss my home to fire which was no reason of mine then after waiting 6 months in 2000 mtly rental with family the insurance company stop paying for the construction andrental of the home they put me up in during the loss. They to this day have no good reason not to pay my claim. they left me and my family in hardship i became disabled due to stress and depression in 3/09 my loving labs dogs were removed from my poession another loss in my life due to my rental and room area i had no compelling reason for them to allow mE to keep the dogs i so loved for 4-11 years i lived previously in my single family home for 13yrs. iam heart broken and my family feels TO any suggestions or comments in dealing with my greif/losses? help or support, my insurance case is schedule for september 09 i have been in continued greif and loss up to this time with depression after looking at an home without heat for almost 4 yrs and crumbling in the cold chicago wintersand down for almost for 4yrs i fear imay loose what left my wife and 9yr old daughter comments and suggestion and support would be appreciated john from northbrook illinois

The stories here are very inspiring. I’ve never been a drug user myself, although I have had friends who have had to fight addictions. Its difficult to watch, and I think in a way we all have our own demons. I may not use drugs per say, but I do need my cup of coffee in the morning, thats an addiction in a way.

Linda

Wow these stories are very inspirational. Incredible what kind of hardships the human spirit is able to endure. Kudos to anybody who can withstand this kind of adversity and emerges on the side of freedom.

I am a recovering addict. I have almost 5 years clean. I am 59 years old and used something my whole life, so i did not have to feel. I am a professional, and told myself I wasn’t an addict, I had things under control. One Monday, I got a call from my job wanting me to come by before I went to work that day. I walked in and they were doing random UA’s. I was positive for cocaine and xanex. I stood there and just said really. I walked out the door knowing my 30 year career was over. MY disease was one of isolation and secrets. My family did not know because I lived by myself,I had stopped seeing all my old friends. I contimplated suicide that day, because I didn’t want to face anyone, I was totally broke, cause after a week-end my dealer had all my money. I layed on my face on the floor of my room for a long time, praying to the God that I had been too afraid and too ashamed to pray to. I don’t remember what I said, all I knew when I got up was I would be ok, that the calvary was coming and I just had to follow my spirit. I looked in the yellow pages under drugs and found N A. I made myself not leave my house that day and the next day at noon I walked into my first meeting. I found my first sponsor there and she helped me more than I can say. I found my way back to life. I have my career back , relationships with my two grown daughters are better now than ever. I am honest with them today, I set boundaries with them today and they know how important they are to me and I know how important I am to them. I continue to go to 5-6 meetings, a week, I sponsor women and I do service work by taking the message to women who are incarcerated. I am able to love and be loved. LIFE IS GOOD and I have learned so much about myself. If you can identify at all with me, e-mail me

A big part of being able to beat addiction is improving your life as a part of the treatment program. What I mean is that things like a better job, better apartment and new friends can go a long way to making it easier to not have to rely on drugs/alcohol. One of my friends is in recovery and she said that was a big part of being able to stay sober.

(correction please ignore previous post)

The same way you set yourself up to use drugs and alcohol you must set yourself up to quit using them.

It took me a long time to quit drinking. I would quit but would be absolutely miserable so I would start up again eventually and the same old game would play itself out again. That is I would start drinking again and then lightening would strike again and then quite again and do it all over again. What really got me away from alcohol was improving other aspects of my life a little at a time until one day I really didn’t have time to drink any more, and I was finally able to quite once the lightening struck again…I am not saying it was easy it took years of going around in circles before this miracle actually happened. But it did and it has been 8 1/2 years of sobriety so far and a much more enjoyable and rewarding life!

I have just completed and sent to my publisher my memoirs in my book “Running Away From Me”, I expect it to be available in late summer or early fall. I am including a short description.
“From inside a prison cell, a young man takes an honest look back at his life and tries to figure out how he ended up locked up away from society and labeled a violent criminal. His story is engrossing, gripping and true. Take a dark journey through the author’s real-life nightmare as he battles his self-destructive obsession with drugs, which leads him on a roller coaster ride through hell on earth. Witness the progression of his addiction, which takes him ti death’s door as he runs from drug dealers, cops, God and more tellingly, himself. In the face of every negative consequence, he continues using until he reaches the place where all hope is lost, and he still can’t stop.”

this is really good. its very inspireing here. i really feel lucky beacuse i have never bean wine and druges and knock on wood. you can control your need and if u r willing. open up your mind . live your heatlh and enjoy your life . beacuse the main motto is: HEATLH IS WEALTH ” so be a goog man.

Cost/Benefit Analysis of my Addiction

After the completion of my book “Running Away From Me” I was thinking back about the cost and benefits of my drug use. Putting this in context should be enough to keep me from ever using again.

Costs: fear, anxiety, sadness, depression, anger, shame, guilt, disgust, boredom, impulsion, emotional exhaustion, loneliness, instability, pessimism, feelings of worthlessness, feeling half-dead and suicidal, abnormal, out of control, suspiciousness. I didn’t fit in anywhere, never learned any social skills, constant conflict with others, had to deal with thugs, hoodlums, and other shady characters, had no time for the ones I loved, RUINED THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IN MY LIFE. Costs to my health include low energy level, CONTRACTED HEPATITIS C, poor personal hygiene, headaches, diarrhea, hangovers, vomiting, intense craving, sexual dysfunction, poor sleep habits, GUNSHOT WOUNDS, hallucinations and delusions, and withdrawal symptoms. Mental costs include no creativity, couldn’t think clearly, poor memory, unproductive at work when I actually went to work, no personal interests or hobbies, no interest in anything that did not involve getting high. Financial costs include debt, unpaid bills, ruined credit and all around financial chaos, and lost time spent hunting drugs. Other costs include PRISON, I was dishonest with myself and others, no self-respect, irresponsible and always let down and dissapointing others. I was a hypocrite by acting in conflict with my values.I LOST FREEDOM IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.

Benefits: a fleeting feeling.

I would like to share a couple tips of my own, as someone in early recovery. There are a couple tricks I learned that helped me aside from the wonderful ones Bill has here on his website. Really grasp that there is nothing you can do about other peoples’ actions, you can only control your own. I learned this very early in my treatment and I am so thankful for it. A big part of my addiction was having the idea that I had to be high to handle or deal with certain situations and people. It was a great revelation to me when I realized I didn’t. I just had to control the way I reacted to them. The second thing I’d like to share is one thing that helps me daily to stay clean. I come up with any excuse I can think of to not use or not put myself in situations to want to use. Any lame excuse will do! Just as I used to find any excuse TO use, I now find any excuse NOT to. At first, you may not feel comfortable with using lame excuses but it doesn’t feel so lame when, at the end of the day, you’re straight!

amazing, this will help many people,try to share this stories as much as you can

Thank you all so very much for all the stories. I’m going through similar issues with family members of mine and this is where I come for encouragement. Thank you so very much…