I love this Step One video. I have finally discovered great 12 step videos. The narrator covers the many key aspects of step one in a very thorough manner. The presenter and I are in accord on many of the step one principles discussed. When I initiate a discussion of step one, I look very closely at what exactly is said within the step as well as what is not said within the step.
Step one says “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction in our lives had become unmanageable”.
First of all, I could never understand somebody saying that they are halfway through or 75% of the way through Step one. If you look closely Step one is a yes or no proposition, either you have done it or not, you admitted, or you have not admitted.
That being said, let’s look at a breakdown of the three important concepts in Step 1:
1. We admitted…
2. …that we were powerless over our addiction…
3. …and then our lives had become unmanageable.
In the video, I love the narrator beginning with a discussion of the ‘we’ part of the 12 steps. Why did those 100 pioneers not start the 12 steps with I? Well, it is my belief that while addiction is disease of isolation, recovery is all about connection. The ‘we’ part of the program is simply a statement that we are all in this together and get I cannot do it alone but we can do it together. Addiction thrives in chaos and isolation, addiction recovery grows in group unity and order.
The second main part of the discussion, “that we were powerless over our addiction”, has been a sticking point for many people. Note that the statement is powerless over our addiction, not necessarily over all phases of our life. If the word ‘powerless’ becomes a stumbling block for you, how about the idea of lack or loss of control over your addiction? This aspect of step 1 generates much discussion of self-will, acceptance and surrender.
I often ask people if they believe they are powerless over there addiction if they cineastes I asked for examples. That is easier said than done, people have difficulty with it. Here are some examples of powerlessness as I understand it. The idea of picking up or engaging in your addiction and going ‘off to the races’. how about the concept of making limits and rules and not being able to stick to them? this one is a killer… continuing to engage in your addictive behavior despite knowing negative consequences will occur. Even a three year-old knows that if you put your hand on hot stove you get burnt, yet an act will return to his behavior time and time again.
Now, the third part of Step one says our lives had become unmanageable. I believe that this can be too confusing to some people; it simply means that when I engage in my addiction bad stuff happens. An area that some people have difficulty with, however, is the connection of that bad stuff happening to their addictive behavior. I will often hear somebody say my life, my husband, my job, etc stinks’ that’s why I use. In fact the reverse is true. Because I engage in my addiction, the relationships in my life are in trouble. I use because my life stinks vs. my life stinks therefore I use.
In my experience of working with patients, listening and observing thousands in the 12 step rooms, I believe that about 80 percent of people who relapse do so because of a lack of thorough understanding of one of those three parts outlined above of step one. Most people get two out of three but get stuck on one or the other. You need a complete understanding and ‘head to heart’ connection on all aspects of step one to assure abstinence and then move on to recovery.
Please don’t worry about step four or step seven or making amends until you have a thorough foundation in the meaning of Step one. It is my belief that a lack of understanding of those other steps is nowhere near as critical to preventing relapse as the thorough knowledge of Step one
I think my good friends over its Sobriety TV for allowing the use of this most excellent video on Step one.
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Great info.! I enjoyed the read. Thank you.